Houston Calling

Where’s a plane crash when you need one?

August 11th, 2003 · No Comments

In a moment of weakness recently, I was listening to the radio in my car. Bored with the typical “Takin’ Care of Business” or “More Than A Feelin'” fare on the classic rock station, I tuned to what is touted as Houston?s Rock Station. This is probably the only station in town (besides public radio) that sometimes supports local music. It is also the station that plays Creed followed by Rush followed by Incubus followed by Stevie Ray followed by Kid Rock followed by Metallica. The one that advertises strip clubs and has a morning show team that makes Carrot Top seem funny. You know the format.

Anyway, when I tuned in, the station was playing a song that sounded a bit like “Freebird” and a bit like “Tuesday?s Gone” (both by Lynyrd Skynyrd, for you youngsters out there). However, this was not the Skynyrd of yore. No. This was new Skynyrd. “Red, White & Blue”–the lyrics going on about how if you don?t like our flag you can get the hell out of our country. I don?t remember exactly, but it was definitely in step with the band?s roots?whiskey-swilling, wife beater-shirt wearing, confederate flag-waving, plane crashing.

Oh wait. Sorry.

What gets me is that this band hasn?t had a hit song since the 1970s?and no radio stations that I know of ever play more than a random stab at Skynyrd?s Innards (one of their many greatest hits collections)?yet all of a sudden, the remaining members of this band use what brain cells they have left to write this bleeding heart classic rock version of “I’m Proud To be An American” and it’s getting airplay in a major US city? And people want to buy it?

Someone please explain this to me.

After the song was over, they played clips of the people who had called in asking if it was Skynyrd, or what band it was, or what album it was on. Like it was the best thing since bathtub meth.

Maybe it’s the remake of their classic “Gimme Back My Bullets” featuring Kid Rock that’s the attraction. I don’t know.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not unpatriotic. I love America. I love freedom. And I applaud those who fight and die while I drink and bitch about my job. But for some reason, these cheesy songs about God blessing the USA and you better get out of America if you don’t like what we stand for rub me the wrong way.

But I guess what makes this country great is the freedom for some washed-up rednecks to sing about their love for the USA and hatred for foreigners and for me to hate their songs and write about it.

God bless America.

Tags: Music